Living as part of a small minority in an environment where almost everyone thought badly of people like you can make it difficult to maintain a positive self-esteem. All of this then means that gay men today have more models of the wide variety of sexual experiences they can have. Desire for body enjoyment Another reason for the supply and demand issue between gay male tops and bottoms is body enjoyment. The instinct to create polarity When we talk about balancing extremes, polarity also comes into play. When people talk about sexual tension or say there was a sexual charge in the air they are talking about polarity. So, this is one of the reasons why more guys to want to be submissive than dominant.
Much of the effort in being a top or dom is mental. Polarity is an important factor in creating sexual attraction. Desire for body enjoyment Another reason for the supply and demand issue between gay male tops and bottoms is body enjoyment. However, all this thinking can make it harder to go out of your mind and into your body, so that you can really enjoy the pleasure of the experience. As the leader, top or dominant you also need to walk the line between fantasy and reality. These days even many straight men are drawn to sexual expressions that are marked by greater vulnerability such as being bound or receptive anal sex. You end up asking yourself questions like: All of this then means that gay men today have more models of the wide variety of sexual experiences they can have. The available media was usually in the form of posed still images and stories. Increasing acceptance of alternate sexual expression and LGBT identities An unexpected reason most gay men prefer being sexually submissive is that over recent years, there has been growing acceptance of sexual differences, including of gay men. This is one of the reasons men are more likely to be homophobic than women. Being vulnerable, receptive and at the same time safe, is appealing for many reasons. They also see many more examples of masculine men enjoying being submissive, bottoming, being receptive or just following the lead of their partner. It was much more common to show scantily clad models than it was to show real, live action sex. Generally, the dominant or top only gets touched on his hands and genitals. At the same time, most gay men are drawn to masculine presenting men. Fundamentally with most traditional sexual activities, the bottom or submissive partner is receiving and the dominant is giving. By Mark Davian 3 Comments Many gay, bisexual and queer men have noticed that in the world of gay male sex most gay men prefer being sexually submissive or bottom. The previously widespread experience for men of being in the military common due to the draft also encouraged all men towards hyper-masculinity. As the saying goes, opposites attract. When it comes to gay men having sex, they do not have the built-in polarity that exists biologically between a man and a woman. We need both supportive encouragement and challenge, rest and exercise, sleeping and waking, giving and receiving. While traditional masculinity still has a strong hold on English-speaking, western-thinking cultures, the notions of masculinity have softened and become more flexible. The story has been told many times of men who are successful lawyers or CEOs who want to lose control in the bedroom, or of those without much power at work who want to be in charge in the bedroom. We all need balance in our lives. Exploring, being the follower, the receptive partner, the submissive is more accessible and desirable.
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