I was only twenty-five. They worked with both couples and individuals. One showed an older couple—and I mean as old as my grandparents—making passionate love. What would make me an effective educator and sounding board was not the range of my sexual repertoire, but my ability to empathize and maintain objectivity. Was this his way of hitting on me? This was a normal-looking woman, with an imperfect body that she seemed perfectly at ease with. I tried hard to maintain my composure, but soon I was crying again. Part of me was happy to dispense with the confines of marriage, but another part of me was terrified of losing Michael.
Between my training to be a surrogate and my SFSI training, my knowledge of human sexuality exploded. There was a protocol that lasted, on average, six to eight visits. I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. We had an instant rapport. I also began training to be a phone counselor at SFSI. Arden is the founder of an exclusive private clinic off Central Park West that provides a very specialized type of treatment for psychosexual problems like this one. A key part of my surrogacy training came when I attended a two-week workshop with Tom at the Department of Public Health in Berkeley. This made me a better surrogate, but it also made me a better wife, mother, and friend. We talked for two hours and Tom asked me questions about my background, my relationship with my family, and my attitude toward sex. Alison asked me to attend a talk on sex at a church a church! Hartman and Marilyn Fithian, developed additional exercises and wrote a number of insightful books, including Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction. Shirley referred me to two therapists who worked well with surrogates and in a few days I had an appointment with one of them in Berkeley. The church was obviously too small to hold everyone who wanted to attend. The first couple of nights I tried to convince myself that maybe he was tired. In the workshop, we got a crash course in anatomy and for the first time I learned the complexity of both male and female genitalia. If one of us came home late, there was no sleeping in the next day. I tried hard to maintain my composure, but soon I was crying again. Get more stories like this in your inbox, every day. Many people struggled with issues around sexuality and maybe I could help them. The coincidences were starting to mount, and I began to wonder what it might be like to be a surrogate myself. He took a few steps away from the sink with his hands up and grabbed a dishtowel. Just as I stepped inside I heard the greeter apologize to the people behind me who had to be turned away because there was simply no more room left. Potential surrogates also must have addressed their own issues with sexuality. Their books, Human Sexual Response and Human Sexual Inadequacy, were bestsellers and some of the first works to demystify sexuality. In truth, I was curious about exploring with other men.
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