He tried to explain to me how hard it was living with an anxiety disorder, and paid sex was the only solution as women do not understand men who express themselves non-verbally. It was a really monstrous thing. He asked, "is it a proper solution, and if so, is it possible? The second idea was that I satisfy his sexual desire by myself. Each day I started finding more and more reasons that would support me having sex with him. That night I thought very hard about the second idea, and with each thought, I was leaning more and more towards it. I needed a solution within two days. This was my idea, and if my brother does something weird in response to the deal-break on my end, it would be totally my fault and I would not be able to face my parents.
I started convincing myself that there was nothing wrong with having sex with your own brother. As I tried to explore my sexual feelings day by day I found that deep inside my heart I wanted to have sex with him. Our one month and a half summer vacation had just begun. My heart started throbbing really hard. This odd behaviour became really scary at times, but many times his disorder would make him extra caring, extra joyful, extra funny and extra lovable to me. I antagonised him and tried to convince him into not doing such a thing. On the other hand, it was an impossible task for me to convince any of my friends to become subject to please my brother's sexual desires, especially if they were beautiful. All I could think about was wanting so much for him to be inside of me. I waited till the clock struck 1. I did not even ask anyone as I knew it was a completely crazy idea. He tried to express his situation. He deeply loved me as a sister so he would never punish me but instead, would punish himself for my mistake. I didn't know what I was saying. He got really embarrassed by the conversation and just nodded in agreement to my every sentence. That night I thought very hard about the second idea, and with each thought, I was leaning more and more towards it. I hugged him assuring him that a deal is a deal, that I will follow through. More importantly, my brother was a really needy person and it was my duty to help him get satisfaction from his life, not betray him and break his heart. I tapped even harder; again no response. I was really terrified by his words. Even my voice became hoarse; all I could say was "brother, please stop this for me" repeatedly into his ears squeezing him tightly into my arms, crying too now. I have got a handsome father and a beautiful mother, so I and my brother, both are very physically appealing. Hormones surged through my entire body; I got really excited by that smell. He was stern in these sorts of things due to his bipolar disorder, and I didn't want to become the reason for him to leave the house. I wanted to check his depth of sleep so I tapped his cheek. He tried to explain to me how hard it was living with an anxiety disorder, and paid sex was the only solution as women do not understand men who express themselves non-verbally. I really loved him for his odd behaviour. I saw a chance to change him so I nodded with a smile and continued "First of all, you cannot, and will not have paid sex for 15 days.
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